[1quick1]

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[IceDragon]

Meep meep. :cool:

[Pfabrizi1]

1,000 replies here we come!

[IceDragon]

I'm now officially cheating.

It's 2331 here, my dad's just gone back to hospital after only a few days at home and my mum is upset because my sister just bitched at her for phoning so late, even though she was only ringing to let her know dad was back in, so my mum and I are having cherry pie and a hot cup of tea.

How can I be related to such a cow? :rolleyes:

[IceDragon]

Originally Posted by Pfabrizi1

1,000 replies here we come!

Where the fuck have you been?

[Pfabrizi1]

haha I've been moving across the country thats where

[IceDragon]

Originally Posted by Pfabrizi1

haha I've been moving across the country thats where

Bullshits.

[Prime]

you might have heard this one before...

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule:

Don't hit the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks "The ducks?"

"Yes", St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking around the course and if one gets hit, he squawks then the one next to him squawks and soon they're all squawkin to beat the band, and it really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished, otherwise everything is yours to enjoy."

After entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed a gaggle of ducks everywhere.
Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked "Who hit the duck?"

The one who had done it admitted "I did."

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. "I told you not to hit the ducks," he said.

"Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before. St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck by the fear in his face, and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand.

"I told you not to hit the ducks", he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still hadn't hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?"

The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."

[IceDragon]

Nice!

[Striker]

just got back from the gym. ress:

[gill998]

Random fact of the day: It is legal to drive in any state or province in bare feet. Local Bylaws may state otherwise.

[Striker]

Originally Posted by gill998

Random fact of the day: It is legal to drive in any state or province in bare feet. Local Bylaws may state otherwise.

here's a fun fact

YOU HOOKED UP WITH YOUR SISTER.

[Platonic]

lol wut

[gill998]

Originally Posted by Striker

here's a fun fact

YOU HOOKED UP WITH YOUR SISTER.

Don't tell me the pictures made it to the internet already.