Big Guns

Way to hang in there. Even if your heart wasn't in it before....at least there was some effort. Glad to here that you are seeing some progress. THAT's the biggest motivator.

IceDragon

Well the weird thing is that before, I thought I was hitting a 10 on all of my workouts, but compared to what I'm doing now, I'd rate them a 4 or 5!

I'm pushing myself so damn hard now, because I have NO excuses left.

I've had enough of being fat, of being unfit. I mean, what excuses do I really have? There are people out there who can't walk, can't talk, can't even hug their fucking kids because they're so ill. I've had to watch my dad being eaten alive from the inside out by cancer and know that there was nothing I could do to watch someone who used to be so fit, so vibrant, so full of life shrivel up and die because he couldn't beat it.

What excuse do I have? There's nothing wrong with me physically, mentally, emotionally. I take no medications, have no illnesses or disorders, and am usually pretty disgustingly healthy. I have no excuses anymore, just reasons.

It's time I finally stepped up to the plate and became all that I can be because wasted potential is almost as bad as a wasted life. And that's why I do what I do, why I am what I am.

adinaluvsch

Ice D! I love the title to your new journal! I'm newly resolved at the moment, too. What is going on with you being in pain? You were injured...?

Tell me...and I wish you continued determination as you build your workouts!

IceDragon

We found out 29th December that my dad had prostate cancer, and according to the oncologist he saw on the 13th January, it was stage 2 and treatable. He went into hospital on the 22nd January for an exacerbation of his COPD (a usual thing), by the 24th couldn't walk and they found it had metastasised to his spine. On the 28th they told us it was terminal.

He came home the 6th February and died at 11.28pm on the 10th February. He was 58.

That's why it hurts, and that's why I can't stop working out. Motivation doesn't even come into it, it's something I feel compelled to do now. I don't even know if it makes sense to anyone else.

XiL3

Oh no Ice, I'm sorry about your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

adinaluvsch

I am so sorry for your loss, Ice D.
I can never say I understand completely...but I do understand a little bit...I used to work out for hours until I felt like all my hurts and agonies had just drained into the weights and left me lifeless, too. It helped until I could begin contemplating healing.
Do you have family or friends to help ease the burden a little bit?

IceDragon

Thanks hun.
Thanks. Not much else I can say to people really.
I've propped up my three kids, my sister and my mum and I'll fully admit its brought us so much closer together.

Which ultimately I guess is a good thing.

IceDragon

I came up with some goals on the Fat Loss thread on bb.com and thought I'd stick them up here. Basically the idea is to come up with reachable goals you can do for the month, and do them.

July 1st to 31st.

Eat clean every day, allowing only one treat meal a week.
17/31

Do 16 resistance training sessions (4 a week).
23/16 Holy sh*t...

Do 16 cardio sessions (4 a week minimum).
24/16 Holy sh*t x2...

Sleep at least seven hours a night.
18/31

Time to run a mile:
09/07 13.36

Forgot about that. Hopefully will get it done tomorrow since I'm supposed to do it every fortnight.

IceDragon

Thursday, 16th July.
This.

45 minute class "Fifteen, Fifteen, Fifteen", a cardio/weights circuit class.

Diet almost spot-on. Possibly need to up my protein a little.

IceDragon

Friday, 17th July.
This.

Cardio: 10 minutes kickboxing, 10 minutes skipping intervals.

Plus six miles walking.

IceDragon

Saturday, 18th July.
Enforced day off (I didn't want one but made myself do it).

Walked about two miles, five minutes kickboxing, five minutes yoga.

IceDragon

Sunday, 19th July.
This.

Walked about three miles, diet clean.

I'll be on reduced workouts probably since the kids are now off for six weeks but I'll try to get something done each day.

XiL3

6 miles after kickboxing? You're in this hardcore!

Big Guns

Way to take control. I find it interesting that you needed something bad to happen to make something good happen. You completely understand why you want to work out, because many can't and someday you may be too old, or too broken, or to unhealthy. I met a kid w/ no arms and legs....electrocuted. He may have been 21. He can't even wear a wedding ring!!!, let alone wipe his own butt. But he still Skis at Winter Park CO, and comes out for the disabled waterski program, and is on a swim team. ALWAYS SMILING!!!! And I complain about my back hurts or it's too hot. I am thankful for all the experiences I have in my life.

Wow....sorry to get off tracK

Point being......Keep it up!!!!!! Gettin Tough!!